


LUKE STOFFEL IS THE SOLE SURVIVOR!
An 80s pop-rock anthem blares as a seven-year-old boy tears through the golden Iowa cornfields at dawn, a canvas bag of newspapers slung over his shoulder, his splatter-painted bike sprayed with just one word: HUSTLER, in electric pink, straight down the frame.
"The first time I tried to win a million dollars, it was the summer Cap’n Crunch went missing... and my entire life depended on one bowl of cereal!"
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From the Author of the Best Selling Book!
What if the American Dream was just a glitter-fueled lie? Soaked in pop culture and bad decisions, this Queer Millennial Odyssey is part confessional, part caper. It’s a story woven into the fabric of a generation that voted reality TV into the White House and made grift a national pastime. The journey is outrageous, hilarious, and, at times, deeply self-aware.
Inked in glitter pen and promise, this Lisa Frank–inspired, late-stage capitalist fever dream is told through the eyes of an seven-year-old boy who believed every lie Ronald Reagan ever sold him—an unhinged adventure for anyone who’s ever chased something wild in a world that never made space for them. It’s not a pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps kind of story—we were all sold a sugar-coated lie: work hard, play by the rules, and success will fall into your lap. “Personally,” he retorts, “I’ve found I’m more prosperous when I lie, cheat, and steal.” This prankish take on the American Dream might just keep you turning the pages.
With the charm of a rogue and the morals of a raccoon, our antihero drags readers through scams, schemes, and self-sabotage—from backyard cons to a cutting-edge experiment with AI. You see, we’ve all been caught up in that chase: more money, more status, more validation. And I’m no different…
“But he is different, because he dared live an unlikely life in a society that punishes those who try it.” —Publishers Weekly

This is a love letter to schemes and dreams of a generation who grew up on Cap'n Crunch and the Goonies! It's the story of growing up in a country that told you to dream big, but kept everything just out of reach!
- Luke Stoffel
Top Industry Reviews
The combination of memoir with a perceptive judgment of America’s often-empty vision of success is powerful. — Publisher’s Weekly / BookLife (Score: 9.5/10)
A raucously funny book, with raffish prose full of self-deprecating humor… a luminous tribute to the inestimable value of not quite getting what you want.” — Kirkus Reviews
Readers who may have thought Catcher in the Rye held wry humor along with insights will find these classics must take a step back for contemporary authors such as Luke Stoffel. — Midwest Book Review


TAKE ME BACK TO 1985!
Take a closer look at the schemes that inspired it all, watch:
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All offers expire: 3/15/1985
More Coming Soon!
First he wrote about ambition. Then, he dragged you into the depths, leaving you gasping for air. And finally, he'll find the strength to stand at the end, alone.
