RANCID GAME

Grab your dessert fork (and knives) cause
we're prepared for battle!

The Rancid Royals have the Kingdom under siege, and our friends at Candy Mountain are fighting sweet tooth and nail to escape their oppressive rule! In the latest attack, they've started melting Candy Mountain with a flurry of artificially sweetened clouds! Now the Candy Mountain crew has little time to retaliate, cause at this rate the perma-frosting won't last long...

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RANCID ROYALTY is a chaotic strategy card game for 2–6 players where you build armies, betray your friends, and watch the monarchy melt—literally. It’s a South Park-style Game of Thrones drama meets Exploding Kittens—with French K-I-S-S-I-N-G heal cards, glitter bombs, and a bunch of tyranny-obsessed royals happy to torch the entire kingdom if it means clinging to the crown. (Hmm... feels familiar.)

Create Your Own Playing Card!

Exclusively on Kickstarter: For a lucky few backers, we’re unlocking the royal vaults and letting you step into the spotlight. That’s right—we’re building a custom website where you’ll get to create your very own Rancid Royal to play with in your personal deck.We’re coding a full trait tracker and uploading hundreds of hairstyles, faces, accessories, and battlefield wounds so you can build the most savage, glitter-soaked monarch the Candy Kingdom has ever seen. Play as yourself. Play as your alter ego. Play as a sugar-addicted chaos demon with rainbow eyeballs and bourgeoisie pox marks. Who will you become?

The Non-Binary Prince of Puke
The Joker of the Undead
A Broadsword Warrior
The Queen of Candy Herself

Every Rancid Royal can be unique, with over 299 traits and a 1 in 500,000 chance of being duplicated. Including, my love, our favorite Joffery Eyes!!! and you can even choose LGBTQ+ traits!

Boys can marry boys, girls can marry girls, cause... Who cares!? When marriage is the only strategic alliance worth bleeding sugar for. Marry a rival, a rebel, or a rogue! (Gasp!) Join strategic forces and rule under one throne! Because this card game doesn't judge—until it absolutely does.

How to Play!

RANCID ROYALTY is a strategic battle royale for 2–6 players. The base game includes 140 cards across 6 unique factions, each ready to help you build an army, sabotage your enemies, and protect your royal at all costs—because if your monarch goes down, so do you.

Build your armies, betray your friends, marry for power, and unleash specialty cards that flip the battlefield in an instant; from heal cards for getting caught FRENCH KISSING to the catastrophic This $#!T is B-A-N-A-N-A-S card, where more than just yo’ mama gets blown away! This is a game about tyranny, rebellion, and exploding royalty… but, ya know, still 99% kid-friendly.

Ages 10+ (or 8+ if your kid’s already been radicalized, LOL.) Why?

Gameplay Complexity: Strategic but not rules-heavy—perfect for middle schoolers and up.

Humor & Themes: Satirical, queer-friendly, a bit chaotic, but no profanity or adult content. Ya know, just tyranny, betrayal, and glitter bombs… things they are already used too.

And if your royal is the last card left standing, they don’t just go quietly—they go nuclear. With one final sugar-slicked tantrum, they unleash a kamikaze-style attack that obliterates everything in sight—friends, foes, frosting, the whole damn kingdom.

Because if the crown’s going down, it’s taking every last gumdrop with it...

The Origin Storybook: How It All Went Sour

Before there was a battle… before the armies… before the glitter bombs…
There was just a warning. This 90-page children’s-book-for-grownups is part fairytale, part fever dream, part Candy Mountain Cookbook, featuring 10 real recipes pulled straight from the sugar-stained pages of history. Inside, you’ll discover:

🌈 The origin of CROT-2020, a plague cooked up in artificial clouds and rainbow barf.
🍪 The first whispers of Candy Mountain rebellion at Cookie Dough Knoll.
💀 The rise of the Sugar Skull Queen and her marshmallow militia.
👑 And the Fall of King Orangello the Overripe: he’s defiantly overstayed his welcome, clinging to power long past his expiration date (and honestly, he’s starting to smell).